I Still Don't Sleep At Night

I CAN'T HACK THE HACKERS ANY LONGER

And I wrote a long note to them today and told them in no uncertain terms that they have got to go. Then I posted it where they're sure to see it. I even pointed out the program that Hewlett-Packard has giving computers to needy people. Surely if they are so poor that they must barge in to take over my computer, times must be hard for them, no? I know for damn sure I don't like sharing, especially as I have no computer privileges. I really laid it out there for them and tried to explain my side of it.

Last night I spent over two hours blogging about important FCC and Constitutional amendment petitions and faxes that need your attention. I had to struggle with the links for some reason. I gave a little history on the issues, some personal insights, the current picture, you know, the whole ball of wax. And guess what? It evaporated. But the computer had been acting way strange all night. I mean really strange. I know they know where I go because they hear me telling my kids on my bugged phone that I'm at the library. The library is about two blocks fromy house.

I had fifteen minutes till closing, so I tried to explain and at least put some links in. Guess what? That vanished too. That reminds me. I'm publishing this unfinished right now.

Today has been a revelation. I think I have just about figured out what they do and how they do it. It's unbelievable. If you had told me this three months ago I don't know if i could have swallowed it.

Because I am a computer addict, I still get up in the morning and desolately poke the keyboard around while I drink my coffee. There's not much to do but disable their files. Oh, I got creative yesterday. I got out the Recovery Console and disabled all their remote and network devices. I re-did set-up installation piece by piece as well as did another re-format and re-installation. I disabled devices in the device manager. I uninstalled lots of services. I did some of my own creative registry editing. Big surprise--the poor computer had a fatal error and shut down. When I'm sabotaging their stuff it's like it's not even my computer anymore, because, let's face it: it's not.

They're still logging on the hoards of the "trusted", "authenticated' souls whose names go on and on. Big party at Local Authority's crib. Or Local Service's, or Local Security Authority, or Microsoft Terminal Services, or Global Knowledge, and on and on with the names. They believe in diversifying. But I was sort of right about them being in the security business.

Stay in suspense a minute. First up--get with the technology. How they do it. Here's one part of the answer perhaps. You sure don't need to be hooked up to the internet anymore. You can control from the comfort of your car apparently. Isn't that special? Here's an ad I found buried in one of the e-mails they sent me today (and therefore allowed me to see). Check out the features on this thing. System requirements, "The computer can be accessed from any device which has a web browser, regardless of the operating system." They still need script though, and that's why I find it. "Script-defined alerts and warnings." ("Alert. Alert. She's trying to go online".) File Transfer feature, which explains why all of a sudden I got a message on my screen that I was out of memory when I had barely saved anything yet. You get the idea. Things are wireless now. People need to adjust their thinking with the times. (Did you notice the 30-day free download? Who do you want to torture?)

Hacking is not a crime for brainless hoodlums. These guys could have Ph.D.'s in technology if they wanted. I think they were proud to show off their Tech Target e-mails to me today with it's "Expert Advice" columns and it's lists of websites. It's all above the ground information for hackers. No more underground message boards for them. It's big business now. And why not. No one wants to catch them or prosecute them. I can vouch for that. Today was more rejections from FBI offices, internet fraud agencies, the Chicago Police, the Illinois State's Attorney, AOL Fraud Dept., and a in-person rejection from the local police. They didn't even raise an eyebrow about them breaking in my apartment. But getting back to the hackers have brains topic, look at this little article I also found in the e-mail today. I don't know what it says but I doubt a firewall will work against it. I mean this hacking is a science. (A bitch receptionist at the Illinois State's Attorney's Office today wanted to know if I had tried a firewall. Wow! Never thought of that. )

Okay, so I knew I was calling AOL Fraud Dept. today. A kid at AOL had me all psyched up that they were really going to help me. He told me that they helped arrest hackers all the time. I was so excited I can't tell you. I put off calling for two days while I put all my notes together organized my presentation. I kid you not. I'm not getting called crazy anymore. What a waste all that was. Just plain "No."

But the point is that I decided this a.m. to see what would happen with the dial-up internet so I could tell AOL. Now I know that they have power even over AOL. I worked and worked to get the damn connection. Finally it said it was connected. I'm all excited except that there's a little note there that I've seen before. It means I'm not hooked up to the real internet--just to some of my e-mail. I couldn't even get to my main e-mail. They let me look at my small e-mail account which was mostly full of e-mails from Tech Target which I think is them or associated with them. It was interesting reading. I cannot get over how brazen hackers are, but, believe me, now I know why.

Here's my boys: "A terrific IT (?) offer got even Better!"

(Note: Their manifesto was full of capital letters that didn't need to be capitalized too.)

"Global Knowledge has added the color Palm M130 to the Cool Stuff program. As you probably know, Global Knowledge has IT training courses in Security, Web, Cisco,Microsoft, Networking, (I know they have that down) and dozens more. Now any of over 100 courses come with your choice of XBOX Gaming System, Playstation2, Linksys 54G Wireless Router or the new Palm M130 PDA."

(I wonder if those last two would keep my hackers out. I was all set to buy a Linksys but the guy at Best Buy told me not to bother unless I was on a network. I didn't know I was part of a network at that time.)

"Purchase any number of classes, virtual classes, e-learning courses on our web site and you will receive your choice of a Cool Stuff item for each course you purchase!" Here's the cool website for hacker wannabees. I signed up for a course myself while I was there. Why not? That's the side of the law that wins. (Don't panic. I didn't give my correct information.) There were courses in all the stuff I see in their files: Cisco Remote Access Products, ATM Core Concepts, Overview of Cisco Hardware, Java Script Basics, etc. I may go back for ATM Core Concepts. I'm not promising to stay on the side of the law that loses.

So now that I'm getting the big picture I wrote them several things in my letter today. I asked did they want to work as my security consultants, since they know everything and can tear through firewalls like lions being thrown meat. I inquired as to what this would cost me in terms of them acting as consultants, and, of course, getting the hell out of my computer. While I was asking, I decided to get some free security advice from my hackers. Some cop or somebody told me the other day that good computer security consultants charge hundreds of dollars an hour. So I asked them if I made a mistake not to get the Linksys router, if that might have worked. I wondered if they could recommend any firewall that they couldn't tear up before breakfast. I asked in general what to do about a Windows XP besides get rid of it. And if you do get rid of it, what do you get? I saw some disturbing articles about Linux in Hackers' Weekly today. I just don't know. It would be good to have them as consultants. Who better? But they really need to get the hell out.

I told them I'd worked on an MS in Psych and couldn't help but guess that they were white, early 20's, longish hair but neat, minimal neat facial hair, maybe a soul patch here or there. I asked if being obsessive-compulsive or anal retentive didn't interfere with the wildness one thinks of as being inherent in a life of crime. I told them they are too young to remember the Odd Couple, but it's like imagining Felix as a big time kidnapper or something. He would worry more about the kid making a mess than he would getting caught. They have to be so attentive to detail, so precise and yet they are totally criminal and thumb their noses at the law big time. I may end up writing an article or even a book about this experience, if it ever ends. I mean I'd like to write it on my damn computer.

Gotta go now. And Rasman really has to go.

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PLEASE NOTE: The names of actual companies and products as being hackers or made for hackers is libelous and I am only postulating here. I am not really suggesting it's the truth.

THIS 'N THAT

I've never blogged blurbs before, but I have a bunch of them I need to pass on because they're buzzing in my head.

First, who in their right mind is going to take diet advice from Dr. Phil? I haven't seen him lately, but even if he crash dieted for this big deal diet thing with Katie Couric, you just know, dollars to donuts (lots of donuts), it's going to be like Oprah's wagon of fat and will show up again weeks later. I'm telling you I lost lots of weight and I have kept it off for over a year. My teenage daughter says I'm too skinny--now that says something! If you're in good health and have some money to spend, and you don't mind feeling good and having energy while you lose tons of weight, the secret is Phentermine. Look it up in Google. It's huge, but users don't talk about it because we don't want it to end up like ephedrine which is nothing compared to it. Remember: don't take it if you have high blood pressure or heart problems or really are extremely obese. Get a physical maybe. And if you want to take it as directed, hey, that's up to you. If you're not into it and want to use good old-fashioned willpower and lettuce, please forget I ever said this. I mean really--DON'T MENTION IT. I want it legal a long time.

P.S. I'm about to tell you my other big diet secrets. (Alright, I lost more than 50 pounds. It took over a year. I'm not crazy. I exercise daily too.) I substituted two meals a day with Slimfast and fruit/yogurt/or vegetable. My daily treat so as not to feel deprived and blow it was Dean's Fudge Bars. They are 100 calories and 0 fat. They are the best. Let them sit out for a few minutes before you eat them. Accept no cheap imitations. They have to be Dean's. That's it. I am now back to the size I was before I had to take meds which caused the weight gain.

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Next, Top 20 Search Terms for this blog:
1. The eplpdx02.
2. Bookworm bitches??
3. Logon process advapi.
4. How to kill fruit flies.

It's good to know I provide a service to humanity.
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Yeah, "the clouds are weeping." They're weeping at Bob Dylan's fourth grade metaphor and lyrics rappers could come up with, used to pimp for young women wearing their underpants, bras and angel wings. I thought we were through with that godawful sellout mess. Can't I keep some heroes? But no, that commercial is back again on an hourly basis. With everything that's going on in the world or even just in the friggin' white house, he has nothing to do these days but make bad movies and hawk women's underpants? If somebody knows more about this please drop me a line. Perhaps all his children need billion dollar operations? One of the underwear angels is his daughter and he couldn't say no? He sold his music to Michael Jackson who let Victoria's Secret use it. Next will be a Ford Motor commercial. Someone--find me an explanation I can so I can sleep again. My stomach hurts too. Am I alone here?

You know what I notice about some of the old rock songs used in commercials? They are so ingrained over such a long period of time, sometimes I can't remember which came first: the song as music or the song as a commercial. They become synonymous. Which came first the chicken or the egg? In the cartoon the chicken is smoking a cigarette in bed and blows smoke out at the egg lying next to him, saying, "Well, I guess that answers that old question."
************************************************************************************************ I want to reiterate, emphasize, and draw Google's attention to the fact that McAfee's security system: privacy center, Personal Firewall Plus and virus scan program failed me. Big time. Not only did my computer hackers take these systems apart and chew up the codes and spit them out into files for their personal use and for their friends' use, but when I went to McAfee's online customer support service, they would not help me. They were rude and insulting. They refused to believe me. What's worse is that it took me over an hour of online typing just to relay the problem. If you want to speak to them by phone, you have to pay $2.95/minute. That's for their customer's. They tried to tell me that I just needed to do a spy sweeper scan, which I had been doing regularly anyhow. I paid for a year of their services. I was hacked in less than four months. I have yet begun to fight. Wait till this is over.
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As if I didn't sound flaky enough, let me now tell you that this isn't the greatest month astrologically speaking--for everyone regardless of when you were born. Have you noticed that everything takes longer than it should? That there are more crossed wires than usual? That mail, packages, e-mail get lost or take twice as long as they should? When you're driving have you noticed that you are getting stopped by more trains or traffic? Or if you ride the train to work, has it been late more often? Do you get more busy signals and wrong numbers when dialing? Have you made some major purchases that you got home and instantly regretted?

This is because we have the planets Mars, Mercury, Neptune and Uranus retrograding in the skies. Do NOT make major purchases, start any major new projects, sign any contracts, begin new ventures, enter new agreements until the month's end when these planets go direct. Just take it easy, sit back, and watch the frustration level of people who don't follow the stars. To read more about how it affects your sun sign, check out Astrologyzone.com.
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Ta ta for now. It's been fun being an airhead. Tomorrow: the serious stuff, including big FCC deadlines.

"I SAID, 'MAN I'D LIKE TO STAY
BUT I'M BOUND FOR GLORY
I'M ON MY WAY
MY RIDE'S HERE..."

Yep, Warren Zevon's ride came and now he can, like one of his album titles, says ... "Sleep When I'm Dead." He won't sleep though. He'll have to make some kind of music or raise some kind of hell. So to speak. I'm glad he died in his sleep though. He deserved that. He deserved lots of good things if you ask me. He gave us a lot through his gifts. I loved him as much as you can love somebody you never met, (but less than John Lennon to be absolutely honest. You know--that was The Beatles, come on--they changed my life forevever.)

But I loved Warren from the first time I heard him because I knew an untamable spirit when one rocked me. And this was before I knew a thing about him. He was equally lyric and outrageous. He had a classical flair; indeed, he'd known Stravinsky, but he didn't mind using strings as background music for his mad lyric movies.

I like the way Rolling Stone began their announcement of his death: "A year after learning he had an inoperable form of lung cancer-- and more than twenty-five years after he began obsessing over death in song--Warren Zevon passed away in his Los Angeles home on Sunday; he was fifty-six." Funny. He was only given three months to live a year ago when he told us about it on Letterman. Funny. Who ever thought he'd live to fifty-six? The way he lived he was lucky to see thirty and he'd be the first to say so. He compared his partying life to that of Jim Morrison.

Last Christmas my 12-year-old son wanted to know what one gift he could get me. My kids aren't into surprises like I am. So I told him the one thing I wanted most in the world was a copy of Warren's new CD, My Ride's Here. I got that and a black sweater with a hood from my daughter. It was an ironic, yet merry Christmas. I still need to get my friend Ellen to translate the French song on there that he does with his daughter. I wish my prig neighbors would let me play the CD at the volume I always feel Warren deserves. (Same goes for Neil Young. No point in listening if you can't play it at the required volume.)

And give me a break with the Werewolves of London and Excitable Boy. I'm making a point of not listening to the radio. You'd think those were the only goddamn songs he ever made. I love Accidentally Like a Martyr and I never get to hear it. It's off that same CD I think.

Here's a really good site with more about Warren Zevon and his music. It has biography, obituaries, reminiscences, candid pictures and self-portraits, lots of articles and reviews.

When he was on Letterman I remember how determined he was to get out new music before the end came. He did it with the new CD The Wind which came out two weeks ago. He also was blessed with twin grandchildren that he got to see last month I believe.

Do you think he's partying with Jimi, Janis, Kurt and Jim? Maybe, but he's still sober. Once you reach the end of the road with that stuff it loses it's lure. But at least he has compatriots who dig him. No one is calling out there for him to sing Werewolves of London again.

We'll miss you Warren. Don't rest in peace or we won't know who you are.

MY NAME IS MARYELLEN AND I AM A COMPUTER ADDICT

Two weeks. Ha! Who am I kidding? I can't go two days. There are the things that must be ordered online. Of course, I had to sneak some peeks at Blogpatrol. I was losing readers daily. How long could I stand that? And how do you communicate without e-mail? My phone is bugged, remember? Not to mention the FCC was in the news, and since I don't read the newspapers offline I didn't know what was going on. That really bothered me.

And my unplugged computer? Well, what if that little battery died and the thing couldn't go back on? What if the hackers had taken over the entire works? What if maybe there was something I could have done? I decided I had to at least install some more security patches, even though they invariably stop the installation or remove the ones I'm lucky enough to get on. While I was in there of course I had to delete some of their files and make some drastic changes to their registry. And so it goes. The hours on my former computer went by with me aching for one last good online hit which was never to come. (You can never go back to the thrill of that first time, huh?) I did even get desperate enough to try to hook it up to the DSL thinking "I don't care. It's already hacked. I just have to get online." And I am one desperate junkie. I have empty AOL CD boxes all over my desk. I tried the DSL then I tried the dial-up for a while. Last count I had 7 AOL programs on the computer and none of them would let me online because the hackers blocked them in various and sundry ways.

If I'd made it even a week without touching a computer, I'd have been a sad sight. I would have been desperately cruising the nearby Metra train line, sitting next to passengers with laptops. Then I would probably have casually asked if I could have a couple of hits on their keyboards, as though this sort of sharing were common practice in commuter circles. My children, friends, sibs and dear old Mom would have had to change their passwords just to be safe. And still they would have to put up with the begging and cajoling. And, of course, I really don't sleep at night. My most productive computer time is way after all the public access ones are closed. I want to be on a computer around 2:00-4:00 am. So you see I can't even go to a damn online support group for internet junkies when my worst cravings kick in. What do you mean the meetings probably aren't online? Forget it then!

Here's a true story. When I reported the hacking to the police I didn't call it in. I told myself it was because the phone was bugged, but I passed a couple of pay phones. I went up there because I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to get a vibe as to whether to ask if I could use one of their computers to look for computer security firms and repair places. I just didn't get a welcoming feeling though. The tipping point was that I didn't really care to hang out in a cop shop and you can't smoke. But I was very close to asking. That shows you the depth of my addiction.

Anyhow, I am a wretched, addicted, sick soul with happy fingers again. And my good news is that today I actually talked to a very large organization, and a man there said they will help me. No if's, and's or but's--he said the hackers will be arrested. He said they catch them all the time. It seems I was given bad information by other employees of this organization who weren't aware of what goes on there when I called several weeks ago. I won't say any more till it's over.

So I am getting back to business. I have a blog to write here. There are things going on I need to let people know about.

P.S. I will be getting comments. It was dumb of me to use my e-mail address. But for now since my computer is still hacked go ahead and write me at the e-mail address until I get the comments in. You would not believe all the ways you can get hacked. I read a new one today about Windows and the Internet Explorer. I heard a blurb on the news about three new flaws in Windows XP office programs. I didn't hear enough to know what that's about. Is there an end to this?

So What Do YOU Think? COMMENTS