I Still Don't Sleep At Night

MY NAME IS MARYELLEN AND I AM A COMPUTER ADDICT

Two weeks. Ha! Who am I kidding? I can't go two days. There are the things that must be ordered online. Of course, I had to sneak some peeks at Blogpatrol. I was losing readers daily. How long could I stand that? And how do you communicate without e-mail? My phone is bugged, remember? Not to mention the FCC was in the news, and since I don't read the newspapers offline I didn't know what was going on. That really bothered me.

And my unplugged computer? Well, what if that little battery died and the thing couldn't go back on? What if the hackers had taken over the entire works? What if maybe there was something I could have done? I decided I had to at least install some more security patches, even though they invariably stop the installation or remove the ones I'm lucky enough to get on. While I was in there of course I had to delete some of their files and make some drastic changes to their registry. And so it goes. The hours on my former computer went by with me aching for one last good online hit which was never to come. (You can never go back to the thrill of that first time, huh?) I did even get desperate enough to try to hook it up to the DSL thinking "I don't care. It's already hacked. I just have to get online." And I am one desperate junkie. I have empty AOL CD boxes all over my desk. I tried the DSL then I tried the dial-up for a while. Last count I had 7 AOL programs on the computer and none of them would let me online because the hackers blocked them in various and sundry ways.

If I'd made it even a week without touching a computer, I'd have been a sad sight. I would have been desperately cruising the nearby Metra train line, sitting next to passengers with laptops. Then I would probably have casually asked if I could have a couple of hits on their keyboards, as though this sort of sharing were common practice in commuter circles. My children, friends, sibs and dear old Mom would have had to change their passwords just to be safe. And still they would have to put up with the begging and cajoling. And, of course, I really don't sleep at night. My most productive computer time is way after all the public access ones are closed. I want to be on a computer around 2:00-4:00 am. So you see I can't even go to a damn online support group for internet junkies when my worst cravings kick in. What do you mean the meetings probably aren't online? Forget it then!

Here's a true story. When I reported the hacking to the police I didn't call it in. I told myself it was because the phone was bugged, but I passed a couple of pay phones. I went up there because I had an ulterior motive. I wanted to get a vibe as to whether to ask if I could use one of their computers to look for computer security firms and repair places. I just didn't get a welcoming feeling though. The tipping point was that I didn't really care to hang out in a cop shop and you can't smoke. But I was very close to asking. That shows you the depth of my addiction.

Anyhow, I am a wretched, addicted, sick soul with happy fingers again. And my good news is that today I actually talked to a very large organization, and a man there said they will help me. No if's, and's or but's--he said the hackers will be arrested. He said they catch them all the time. It seems I was given bad information by other employees of this organization who weren't aware of what goes on there when I called several weeks ago. I won't say any more till it's over.

So I am getting back to business. I have a blog to write here. There are things going on I need to let people know about.

P.S. I will be getting comments. It was dumb of me to use my e-mail address. But for now since my computer is still hacked go ahead and write me at the e-mail address until I get the comments in. You would not believe all the ways you can get hacked. I read a new one today about Windows and the Internet Explorer. I heard a blurb on the news about three new flaws in Windows XP office programs. I didn't hear enough to know what that's about. Is there an end to this?

So What Do YOU Think? COMMENTS