I Still Don't Sleep At Night

THIS 'N THAT

I've never blogged blurbs before, but I have a bunch of them I need to pass on because they're buzzing in my head.

First, who in their right mind is going to take diet advice from Dr. Phil? I haven't seen him lately, but even if he crash dieted for this big deal diet thing with Katie Couric, you just know, dollars to donuts (lots of donuts), it's going to be like Oprah's wagon of fat and will show up again weeks later. I'm telling you I lost lots of weight and I have kept it off for over a year. My teenage daughter says I'm too skinny--now that says something! If you're in good health and have some money to spend, and you don't mind feeling good and having energy while you lose tons of weight, the secret is Phentermine. Look it up in Google. It's huge, but users don't talk about it because we don't want it to end up like ephedrine which is nothing compared to it. Remember: don't take it if you have high blood pressure or heart problems or really are extremely obese. Get a physical maybe. And if you want to take it as directed, hey, that's up to you. If you're not into it and want to use good old-fashioned willpower and lettuce, please forget I ever said this. I mean really--DON'T MENTION IT. I want it legal a long time.

P.S. I'm about to tell you my other big diet secrets. (Alright, I lost more than 50 pounds. It took over a year. I'm not crazy. I exercise daily too.) I substituted two meals a day with Slimfast and fruit/yogurt/or vegetable. My daily treat so as not to feel deprived and blow it was Dean's Fudge Bars. They are 100 calories and 0 fat. They are the best. Let them sit out for a few minutes before you eat them. Accept no cheap imitations. They have to be Dean's. That's it. I am now back to the size I was before I had to take meds which caused the weight gain.

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Next, Top 20 Search Terms for this blog:
1. The eplpdx02.
2. Bookworm bitches??
3. Logon process advapi.
4. How to kill fruit flies.

It's good to know I provide a service to humanity.
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Yeah, "the clouds are weeping." They're weeping at Bob Dylan's fourth grade metaphor and lyrics rappers could come up with, used to pimp for young women wearing their underpants, bras and angel wings. I thought we were through with that godawful sellout mess. Can't I keep some heroes? But no, that commercial is back again on an hourly basis. With everything that's going on in the world or even just in the friggin' white house, he has nothing to do these days but make bad movies and hawk women's underpants? If somebody knows more about this please drop me a line. Perhaps all his children need billion dollar operations? One of the underwear angels is his daughter and he couldn't say no? He sold his music to Michael Jackson who let Victoria's Secret use it. Next will be a Ford Motor commercial. Someone--find me an explanation I can so I can sleep again. My stomach hurts too. Am I alone here?

You know what I notice about some of the old rock songs used in commercials? They are so ingrained over such a long period of time, sometimes I can't remember which came first: the song as music or the song as a commercial. They become synonymous. Which came first the chicken or the egg? In the cartoon the chicken is smoking a cigarette in bed and blows smoke out at the egg lying next to him, saying, "Well, I guess that answers that old question."
************************************************************************************************ I want to reiterate, emphasize, and draw Google's attention to the fact that McAfee's security system: privacy center, Personal Firewall Plus and virus scan program failed me. Big time. Not only did my computer hackers take these systems apart and chew up the codes and spit them out into files for their personal use and for their friends' use, but when I went to McAfee's online customer support service, they would not help me. They were rude and insulting. They refused to believe me. What's worse is that it took me over an hour of online typing just to relay the problem. If you want to speak to them by phone, you have to pay $2.95/minute. That's for their customer's. They tried to tell me that I just needed to do a spy sweeper scan, which I had been doing regularly anyhow. I paid for a year of their services. I was hacked in less than four months. I have yet begun to fight. Wait till this is over.
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As if I didn't sound flaky enough, let me now tell you that this isn't the greatest month astrologically speaking--for everyone regardless of when you were born. Have you noticed that everything takes longer than it should? That there are more crossed wires than usual? That mail, packages, e-mail get lost or take twice as long as they should? When you're driving have you noticed that you are getting stopped by more trains or traffic? Or if you ride the train to work, has it been late more often? Do you get more busy signals and wrong numbers when dialing? Have you made some major purchases that you got home and instantly regretted?

This is because we have the planets Mars, Mercury, Neptune and Uranus retrograding in the skies. Do NOT make major purchases, start any major new projects, sign any contracts, begin new ventures, enter new agreements until the month's end when these planets go direct. Just take it easy, sit back, and watch the frustration level of people who don't follow the stars. To read more about how it affects your sun sign, check out Astrologyzone.com.
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Ta ta for now. It's been fun being an airhead. Tomorrow: the serious stuff, including big FCC deadlines.