Friday, August 08, 2003
I ADMIT IT. I'M CERTIFIABLE AND I HAVE THE PAPERS TO PROVE IT.
It's almost 6:00 a.m. now and I'm still not asleep. Know what I've been doing? Making myself crazy, that's what. I really do march to the beat of my own kazoo, that's for damn sure.
After we last spoke at 4:45 or whatever, I moseyed over to Blog Patrol as is my daily routine, to catch the latest searches. There it was, my crazy-maker: Verizon commercial That intrigued me much more than the person who clicked through to my blog by searching for naked hippies (?).
So I went to Google.com laughing to myself, remembering how I'd written that they finally had gotten rid of the "Can you hear me now?" guy before we had to kill him. I assumed I was one of a long list of commentators to make this statement. I hated him so much. His voice would grate on me like sandpaper and rough wood. I'd see his portly body stuffed in that jail jump suit with those ridiculously large glasses, saying over and over, "Can you hear me now?" and I'd want to scream. And everytime I'd think it's okay it's over now, he'd say it again. I'd think "Please God let that be the last time he says it." And he would say it again. I didn't need to be Elvis to think about shooting my tv.
So I am smiling all the way to my Google search imagining all the fun I'll have reading all the other hateful comments written by the other hateful viewers who feel like me. Fifty some search pages later I am convinced that I do not belong in the the USA marching band. It looks like I'm the only malcontent for miles. A few people are listed as blog writers who have called their friends' attention to the this funny commercial they just have to see. Gross. Unbelievable. What's wrong with me? Will I ever fit in? I've got to say I sincerely hope not. I like to think I am just not one of the herd. If I were a lamb I'd be eaten by wolves I suppose, but so it goes. It is a horrible commercial. I hate it. It gets on my nerves. My one regret from reading all those Verizons results in Google is that I might have liked to have seen at least once the one where the ferret attacks the man's tongue. Yeah, I would say I can see THAT now. Otherwise, I wouldn't give that guy a drink of water if he were on fire. But, hey, that's just me. And only me.
It's almost 6:00 a.m. now and I'm still not asleep. Know what I've been doing? Making myself crazy, that's what. I really do march to the beat of my own kazoo, that's for damn sure.
After we last spoke at 4:45 or whatever, I moseyed over to Blog Patrol as is my daily routine, to catch the latest searches. There it was, my crazy-maker: Verizon commercial That intrigued me much more than the person who clicked through to my blog by searching for naked hippies (?).
So I went to Google.com laughing to myself, remembering how I'd written that they finally had gotten rid of the "Can you hear me now?" guy before we had to kill him. I assumed I was one of a long list of commentators to make this statement. I hated him so much. His voice would grate on me like sandpaper and rough wood. I'd see his portly body stuffed in that jail jump suit with those ridiculously large glasses, saying over and over, "Can you hear me now?" and I'd want to scream. And everytime I'd think it's okay it's over now, he'd say it again. I'd think "Please God let that be the last time he says it." And he would say it again. I didn't need to be Elvis to think about shooting my tv.
So I am smiling all the way to my Google search imagining all the fun I'll have reading all the other hateful comments written by the other hateful viewers who feel like me. Fifty some search pages later I am convinced that I do not belong in the the USA marching band. It looks like I'm the only malcontent for miles. A few people are listed as blog writers who have called their friends' attention to the this funny commercial they just have to see. Gross. Unbelievable. What's wrong with me? Will I ever fit in? I've got to say I sincerely hope not. I like to think I am just not one of the herd. If I were a lamb I'd be eaten by wolves I suppose, but so it goes. It is a horrible commercial. I hate it. It gets on my nerves. My one regret from reading all those Verizons results in Google is that I might have liked to have seen at least once the one where the ferret attacks the man's tongue. Yeah, I would say I can see THAT now. Otherwise, I wouldn't give that guy a drink of water if he were on fire. But, hey, that's just me. And only me.
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